Wednesday, 8 January 2014


Title: Worthless (Finding You)  by Debra Strattford
Pages: 404
Publisher: Self-published
Available: Amazon, Kindle
Amazon Link:
Rating: 3/5


‘I love you.’

Thomas never imagined love like this, and never thought to find it in such a sacred place. He’d lived a lot, tasted a lot … and thought falling in love was impossible, unless he could find the most perfect man on earth. Thomas thought that nothing good could come from an afternoon of pleasure with a perfect blond, but he was wrong. Hot lips, eager hands, and gentle murmuring in his ears. Words so sweet and difficult to erase. A world full of feelings for a man who had experienced too much.

From London to Paris, between winter and summer, the love of Robert and Thomas ... Can it withstand everything? 

Robert and Thomas love each other very much, but Robert, who seems to have everything, gives a lot to the one he loves, yet Thomas feels as though he has nothing to give him back. Robert knows this, and the only thing he expects in return is his love and affection. Thomas is a jet setter type who has always liked to live life to the fullest. Thomas also couldn't believe that true love couldn't come from one sensual afternoon together, but stranger things happen when people fall in love.

Worthless starts with Robert giving Thomas a gift, but in true Robert style, it's no ordinary gift, it's a Chopard L.U.C. Lunar watch. I like his style, his element of surprise. What is more interesting is how Robert loves to give gifts, but doesn't like them in return, though Thomas would have loved to have gone out and bought him something as a surprise. His stressful work life is what prevented him from doing this and on first sight of the gift; he feels the guilt overcome him.

Thomas's friend, and co-worker, John is tired of his work life too, wishing he was somewhere else so he could relax and forget work altogether. As they are in the middle of making what is supposed to be a successful movie, he thinks John should be able to work things out, but in John's mind a vacation is the only motivation he needs to unwind. Thomas could get angry at him, but he feels the same way too. When they get to Paris and check into a hotel together, he notices how John does start to unwind, and look at the potential women around him. He sees him as an observer, but also a "predator" where women are concerned, but that isn't what bothers him. There are several problems that start to happen with Thomas and Robert's relationship; Thomas has just decided to go on a trip with John without mentioning to Robert, when he phones and tells him John could have come to him with his problems as he's a psychiatrist. I got the feeling Thomas didn't want to abandon someone in need as he isn't just a co-worker, he's a friend.

It doesn't take long to find out that Thomas isn't as happy with his love life as he thought he was. He does love Robert, but he misses the days when he could date other men and enjoy the freedom of sex at parties with several men while John made out with his women. Those, in his mind were the good times, but now he feels he can't devote his life to just one man. This one man he wants and needs is John, but as he isn't gay there's no point in pursuing him. At least that is the theory, but one night Thomas teases him about his cigarette habit, and he wonders whether John is completely straight.

For what starts out as the perfect relationship from one person's perspective, it is a shock to think that Thomas would want more from the relationship, but not from him, from other men, his friend John for one. Why he would want to cheat might be beyond some, but for Thomas, he is used to the variety of men he has got before he met Robert. Something else that I considered was would he like it if Robert decided to cheat too? In theory, if he likes the variety, maybe Robert would too, but will he accept it? Thomas likes the strong, dependable types, though he is weak and teary part of the way through this novel. He wants to be loved and to love, but he can't have everything when Robert wants a faithful man.

Despite the heartache, there is some good humor in this between Thomas and John. John, it seems has always been there in the past and when it looked like he would stray, John reminded him he would never find another like Robert. Worthless is an emotional roller-coaster of a novel where even the most ideal relationship can go awry. I really felt for Robert who asked him from right at the beginning if he was prepared for a relationship and also prepared to deny all other men. I suppose at the time Thomas thought it was a good idea as he was swept up in the newness of love, but he could live to regret his decision. They say a leopard can't change its spots, and that could be true of Thomas. With this novel, the enjoyment is in the twists and turns the characters find themselves, Robert seems stable, but the further into the story I went, I saw that Thomas wasn't the same, he is a mixed up man who doesn't know what he wants from life.

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